As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are – what others say is irrelevant.
― Nic Sheff
Confidence is ‘the belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities.’ This feeling can easily be mistaken for the feeling of knowing you are better than others or that you do not care about what others think which is incorrect confidence is not about other people it is about yourself how you view yourself, how you reflect yourself and knowing your capability and capacity.
Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.
– Helen Keller
In our day-to-day lives, the virtue of courage doesn’t receive much attention. Sometimes, we feel Courage is a quality reserved for soldiers, firefighters, and activists. Security is what matters most today. Perhaps you were taught just like I was, to avoid being too bold or too brave. It’s too dangerous. Don’t take unnecessary risks. Don’t draw attention to yourself in public. Follow family traditions. Don’t talk to strangers. Keep an eye out for suspicious people. Stay safe. But a side effect of overemphasizing the importance of personal security in your life is that it can cause you to live reactively. Instead of setting your own goals, making plans to achieve them, and going after them with gusto, you play it safe not to get hurt. Keep working at the stable job, even though it doesn’t fulfill you. Remain in the unsatisfying relationship, even though you feel dead inside compared to the passion you once had. Who are you to think that you can buck the system? Accept your lot in life, and make the
best of it. Go with the flow, and don’t rock the boat. Your only hope is that the currents of life
will pull you in a favorable direction. No doubt there exist real dangers in life you must
avoid. But there’s a huge gulf between recklessness and courage. Oh my don’t get it twisted, I’m not referring to
the heroic courage required to risk your life to save someone from a burning building not at all. courage I mean is the ability to face down those imaginary fears and reclaim the far more
powerful life that you’ve denied yourself.
Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. ~Steve Jobs
I had these fears then, like Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of going broke.
Fear of being alone. Fear of humiliation. Fear of
public speaking –this was the biggest! Fear of being ostracized by family and friends. Fear of physical discomfort. Fear of regret. Fear of success. And one I’m still working on fear of heights! I just hope to get over it.
How many of these fears are holding you back?
How would you live if you had no fear at all?
You’d still have your intelligence and common sense to safely navigate around any real dangers, but without feeling the emotion of fear, would you be more willing to take risks, especially when the worst case wouldn’t actually hurt you at all? Would you speak up more often,
talk to more strangers, ask for more sales, dive headlong into those ambitious projects you’ve
been dreaming about? What if you even learned to enjoy the things you currently fear? What kind of difference would that make in your life?
Have you previously convinced yourself that you
aren’t really afraid of anything… that there are always good and logical reasons why you don’t
do certain things? Okay here are few of the reasons I did tell myself then. It would be rude to introduce yourself to a stranger. You shouldn’t attempt public speaking because you don’t have anything to say. You know what? I found out they’re just rationalizations though – think about how your life would change if you could confidently and courageously do these things with no fear at all.
Be courageous to do the unthinkable.